


Baby I'm a fool

by GaneWhoo



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, But no one dies, F/F, Not Really A Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-04 02:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12761151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaneWhoo/pseuds/GaneWhoo
Summary: "A blue neon sign flashed a little further down the street and the gleam the rain gave the color made her think of a pair of equally sparkling blue eyes. She shook her head, trying to chase the image away but she should know better.Kara Danvers had always been persistent, whether it was the woman herself or the memory of her.She had fallen in love with those eyes, pure and kind and yet sometimes hooded with a darkness that had looked all too familiar to the last Luthor standing. "





	Baby I'm a fool

The sound of the rain beating up the asphalt of the narrow street was soothing, soft and regular, a little melancholic.  
The world looked altered, with the dim light of the neon signs glowing distortingly under the deluge and trembling across the rippled surface of the puddles and flashy splashes of red, yellow and blue were catching the eyes of the aimless wanderer that strolled along the small avenue.  
From time to time, the disruptive sound of someone stepping in the pools of rain would break the quiet and monotonous noise of the rain but otherwise, not even the low chatter of people could drown it.

Walking along with the disparate flow of people, a transparent umbrella loosely resting against her shoulder to protect her silhouette from the drenching rain, Lena was lost in her thoughts as much as she was carried away by the ambiance, by the quiet melancholy of this colorful but rainy street hidden away in the very heart of Tokyo.

It had been two years since her failed attempt at being the CEO of a media company she knew nothing about in the first place. Not that she didn’t try, of course.  
After all, she had been trained her whole life to take over the Luthor empire and despite all the misogynistic reservations the board members had and the judgmental, hungry-for-blood eyes of the press was keeping on her, she did succeed.  
With CatCo however, she did not.  
She had made many mistakes and ruined a good number of relationships in the process, but at least she could still find some solace in the fact she did some good with L-Corp.

The air smelled like warm ramens and fresh water, green grass and lotus flower and she smiled. It was a broken smile but a smile nonetheless.

 

A blue neon sign flashed a little further down the street and the gleam the rain gave the color made her think of a pair of equally sparkling blue eyes. She shook her head, trying to chase the image away but she should know better.  
Kara Danvers had always been persistent, whether it was the woman herself or the memory of her.

She had fallen in love with those eyes, pure and kind and yet sometimes hooded with a darkness that had looked all too familiar to the last Luthor standing. She had tried to pinpoint the exact moment when she knew she was in love with the CatCo reporter, Cat’s former assistant and protege, but looking back in time, she couldn’t decide on one memory only.  
It was an ensemble of souvenirs, gentle touches and kind smiles, free discussions about silly topics and some more serious ones, a constant presence she didn’t know she needed before meeting Kara.

Of course, she didn’t know about Kara’s other identity at the time. She was just happy to have a friend and maybe she had hoped for more but in retrospective, it would have never worked out.

“A Luthor and a Super, working together”. Her own words still echoed in her mind from time to time, rimed with a bittersweet echo, the stinging pain of a half-truth that had somehow become a shameful joke.

When Supergirl had killed Lex, at the end of what had been one of the most deadly fight in all the history of National City, Lena had recognized those hooded blue eyes.  
They were lined with much more darkness than what she was used to seeing, haunted with regrets and sadness and yet, they were firm and sure.

When Supergirl had landed before her, carrying the lifeless body of her fallen brother in her arms, her world had crumbled and eventually, it all fell apart. She could see the lies as clearly as the blue of Kara’s eyes, bright and sharp and cutting at her already twisted soul.

She didn’t crack back then, because after all, she was a Luthor and let it be said that the with the infamous name came an unhealthy ability of never letting any weakness sign shows. She was broken inside, the death of her brother not being as painful as the realization that the woman who she thought was her friend, on whom she had a hopeful crush on, was National City’s most beloved superhero.  
The lies were more painful than the fact Supergirl killed her brother, because in her mind, Kara Danvers killed Lex.  
The frontier between Kara and Supergirl was blurred by blood and her memories were beginning to suffer from the stain of it.

After that, she had sold CatCo to the highest bidder, and she had boarded on the next commercial flight for Tokyo. Sam was taking care of L-Corp in National City and so Lena ran away, flew away even. She knew it was pointless to try to escape Supergirl, who could round the planet in a few minutes but still.

She had started working for the Japanese L-Corp firm, in the R&D department and she liked it there. It was quiet and calm, no one cared about her name or her fortune and no one expected anything else from her than to be good at her job. Which, she was.  
Finally free from the enormous administrative procedure and the incredible pressure that came with the CEO title, she was happy to be tinkering all day long, the work being interesting enough to take her mind off her past.

Then again, as much as she loved to work, she couldn’t possibly work around the clock and sometimes, she had to give in to sleep. It never worked, despite the pills, the booze, the many tips and medicine advises she sought.  
The nightmares were too vivid and the memories were all red and dark, with flashes of blue that made her angry.

Which explained the wandering trip at 2am, in a forgotten street that never slept, amongst people who had no idea who she was, who didn’t care, and under a never ending rain.  
It was soothing, like the mother’s lullaby she was never good enough to deserve. She was exhausted, the tiredness weighing heavy upon her bones and slowing her down considerably.  
She had always been lonely, for as long as she could remember. She had never been much of a social butterfly and the only person to ever give a damn about her had been her brother.

Well, and his killer, she thought with a bittersweet chuckles.

She had found, during the first six months following the debacle, that she missed Lex. She was truly heartbroken over his death and her broken hopes to ever make him see reason ever again. She had wanted to believe, until the very last moment, that he could be brought back on the right path and if she was being honest with herself, she blamed Supergirl for not letting him, them, a chance to work it out.

She was mad at Kara for a lot more reasons than just killing Lex but from time to time, a flash of lucidity would make her see that Supergirl had no choice. In those moments, she would remember the darkness swirling in the haunted blue eyes, the pain, the regret and the steel too.

Kara had tried to call, leaving messages Lena never brought herself to listen to.  
In the end, Kara stopped calling and she tried to text instead, so Lena dropped her old phone in a drawer and brought a new one for work purposes only. However, since she was still tied to L-Corp in some ways, she couldn’t get rid of her professional email address and Kara, well. She was a smart girl, so she started to send emails on both the private and work inboxes and as much as Lena wanted to, she couldn’t bring herself to delete them all.

She had a file in each of her inboxes, filled with unread emails from the girl who was once her friend.

She was actually surprised that Supergirl didn’t show up in Tokyo after a few months of getting no answer but then again, she didn’t want to see the girl so it was all the better.  
She couldn’t avoid the big news splashed all over the big screens in the center of the capital or in the smaller TVs at work so she had seen some of Supergirl’s most famous fights and success but otherwise, she was doing her best to avoid anything related to the girl of steel and National City.

That until yesterday, when her work phone had vibrated with a text from an unknown number. There were only three words to be read but Lena had been spiraling ever since. With grief and loss, mostly, old and familiar emotions for her but the infinite sadness was tainted with a side of despair this time, an anger sparkled by a general feeling of unfairness.

“Jess died today”

She had known about Jess’s condition of course, had known for years but somehow, the woman had always managed to look so healthy and so full of life that she had come to think of the risks as nonexistent.

She didn’t want to go back, she didn’t want to have a single chance to cross paths with Kara Danvers but she knew there was no way to avoid it.  
She had to fly back to National City for the funerals, to take care of Jess’s family and to make sure her twelve years old boy was taken care of properly. She owed it to Jess, after everything they went through together.

She was lost in her mind when a voice from her past whispered her name behind her.

She recognized the soft voice, despite the new broken edge it held, the breathlessness around the end of her name that was unique and so infuriatingly hot. She didn’t have to turn around to know she would meet a pair of hooded blue eyes, sun-kissed curls framing a perfect face with a jawline made of steel and a nose of a royal kind.  
She wondered, for a second, if there would be glasses.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me and you have every right to be mad at me but I am here to tell you that Jess isn’t actually dead,” Kara explained, her voice echoing through the sound of the rain and the low chatter of the people around them. It was clear and bright despite the pain and the regret, despite the lack of the usual hope that had once made her tone sound so bubbly and infuriating.

Lena whirled around and stared in those ever so familiar ocean blue eyes, letting the memories swirl in her mind like a very well-known melody. The flash of a smile, the warmth of a hand on her forearms, the echo of a laugh and all the tenderness surrounding their more private moments.  
It was painful and she wanted nothing more than to turn around and ignore the alien superhero. Yet, she didn’t walk away.

Maybe it was because Kara was, in fact, wearing glasses. Sure, they were smeared with raindrops but the eyes beneath were sparkling and gleaming, like the ocean itself.

She hated herself for softening a little at the sight of Kara Danvers, in her plain civilian clothes, drenched with rain and looking a little miserable, her hair soaked wet and falling in heavy dripping waves upon her shoulders.  
The girl of steel was wearing a summer trench that did little to keep the rain at bay because from the dark color of it, the piece of clothing had already absorbed all the water that had fallen upon it and it was dripping on the street from the end of the sleeves and the rim of the coat. A pair of black converses was half-bathing in a pool of rain, surrounded by the soaked pant sleeves of Kara’s rather large blue jeans and the loose sweater looked as black as the night sky above their heads, heavy with rain as well.

The words finally reached Lena’s mind and she narrowed her eyes at Kara, not trusting herself to use her voice just yet.

“My sister got her into the WITSEC program because she helped us take a huge alien trafficker down and he’s been threatening her little boy. He has means and money so we thought it was best to make her disappear and to let the world believe she is dead,” Kara elaborated without being prompted and a wave of relief flooded over Lena’s mind as she took in what it meant.

“I would have sent an email but you don’t open them and I wanted you to know, so I came in person,” Kara finished with a slight tilt of her head.

The rain was running across her face, from the forehead to the chin, following the high valleys of her cheekbones and the small hollows along her nose, contouring her lips and then falling from her jawline onto the drenched street.  
She was still beautiful, Lena thought and she closed her eyes for a second, trying to reconcile the woman in front of her with her brother’s killer.

“I should get going, I just … I just wanted to let you know the truth,” Kara whispered and she didn’t smile, which still looked a little odd since Lena was more used to the Sunny Danvers persona than the Supergirl one.

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Lena answered with a snarky bite she didn’t know she was holding back until now. She hadn’t meant to start a fight but Kara’s word had hit a nerve and she was too tired to fight against her instinct, tonight.

“I’m sorry?” Kara asked, obviously startled by Lena’s tone.

“You heard me. It’s a little rich of you to tell me you came all the way to Tokyo to .. let me know the truth, like you said,” Lena retorted, anger boiling over as she took a step forwards to invade Kara’s personal space. “You’ve never let me in on the truth before now, have you?”

Kara visibly flinched under the accusation, blinking in surprise and then looking up to meet Lena’s eyes.

“Lena, I … I never meant to hide from you,” Kara started, taking a step back to reinstate the space in between them.

“Liar.” Lena cut with a flowing flourish of her free hand and she then turned away, not in the mood for the discussion anymore.

The rain was still falling, hitting her umbrella with a regular tud that didn’t sound so soothing anymore. The street was emptier, people having finally gone home for the night since it was closer to 4am now, and the rising day was still a few hours away.  
The neon had been, for the most part, turned off but a few remained on, glowing steadily in the rainy night.

Lena felt strong, wet fingers close around the wrist of her free hand and she almost lost her balance when Kara pulled her back, forcing her to turn around and to grip the girl of steel’s arm to steady herself.

“What are you …” Lena started but warm, soft lips found hers and the rest of her question died in a hungry, messy, desperate kiss that tasted like rain and tears.

There was something surreal to the scene. The rain kept falling all around them, diverted by the umbrella Lena didn’t drop in the sudden move and the sound of it, soft but regular, strong, was the kind of memory making noise.  
The night was both silent and loud, with something like apprehension and relief floating in the air and the almost empty street was a movie-worth decorum for such a gesture, the neon glowing on the wet asphalt

It felt like a beginning and an end at once, it has the bitter sweetness of past mistakes and the hopefulness of a bright future and the incertitude was almost mysterious and tempting. Kara was warm and soft despite the steel of her muscle and the cold water running down her face, drenching her clothes and Lena could feel her own body give away. She had this ephemeral image of ice melting under the sun as she finally, finally returned the kiss.

The umbrella fell on the street and she moved her now free hand to tangle it in Kara’s hair.  
It wasn’t silky, it wasn’t soft and she squeezed more water out of the not so golden locks anymore but it was a grip anyway, something real, something tangible and when the girl of steel circled her waist and burrowed her fingertips in the back of her black coat, when she felt the strength of the embrace, she felt invincible.

It lasted a small eternity but like everything else in life, the end came all too soon.

Kara pulled away and tilted her head, eyes darkening and Lena recognized the look. She longed for the time when she didn’t know what it meant, when she could just chalk it up to Kara’s adorable weirdness but now, all she could see was Supergirl.

“I …” Kara started and that one word echoed in between them like a death sentence, heavy and final despite it being the very beginning of a sentence. They were still holding on to each other and Lena hated how safe and warm she was feeling.

She was in love with Kara Danvers but she hated Supergirl with all the fiery anger of a Luthor and the lines were beginning to blur, twisted by loneliness and regret, by guilt and sadness, by this helpless feeling of irremediable fatality.

“You have to go,” Lena whispered and she took a step back, leaving the warm embrace of Kara’s arms. It felt like ripping a part of herself apart but she did it anyway and she leaned over to pick up her umbrella.

“Will you let me come back?” Kara asked and Lena looked up, surprised by the question.

Kara’s eyes were so ever blue, glowing in the street light, sparkling under the rain and Lena hated how beautiful the girl looked. Somewhere underneath the wet clothes, a suit was ready to be exposed to the world and that too, Lena hated it.

“Maybe,” Lena answered softly and it must have leaked in her tone that it was all she could give because Kara offered a soft smile.

“I can do with a maybe,” she said and she took a step forward. Lena didn’t move away and the kiss was simple and delicate, like the soft move of a butterfly’s wings but it was hopeful and sure.

Lena closed her eyes and revealed in the gesture, letting Kara’s soft lips soothe away her tormented feelings for a few seconds. For a time here, she finally felt at peace with herself, her mind quieted by the kiss, her heart soaring with love and her doubts and fears and raging emotions staying quiet for once.

When she opened her eyes again, Kara was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> I got an ask on tumblr, to put this out on AO3 so here you go. It's not great by any mean but I suited my mood at the time ... The title is from a song by Mélody Gardot, the lyrics could almost fit for this little story here ...
> 
> I should specify that I don't usually write for Supercorp, this is a little new and I'm trying to find my marks around the ship.
> 
> As always, reviews are nice ;)


End file.
